Respect...

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Recently Americans have been mourning the deaths of the 13 U.S. soldiers and the many others that were wounded. I have payed my respects to these soldiers by praying for their families and honoring their deaths by remembering them from day to day as well as saying the pledge of allegiance. I have noticed that for several years people do not say the pledge of allegiance and I am shocked that there are people that will not say the pledge for fear of being stared at or looked down upon for showing respect for something that is greater than themselves. Why has showing respect come to the point that it is looked down upon. The idea that people will not pay the respect that our flag deserves and what it stands for, as well the men and women who have sacrificed their lives, limbs, minds, brothers, sisters, fathers mothers, sons, and daughters and continue to fight for the ideals that America was founded on. How much effort does it really take to rest your hand over your heart and say a 31 word chant? Please ask yourselves these questions and answer them honestly and leave a comment with your answers.

This is my 2 cents

Love...

How many people can you honestly say know you on a deeper level then most of your other friends? I honestly have to say nobody I haven't truly opened up to anyone. I think the reason that I haven't opened up to anyone and left myself completely exposed is because the first person I opened up to couldn't keep a secret from anyone. so I withdrew myself and trusted nobody with my secrets. The last time that I revealed my secrets I was ripped away from those people and thrust back into an unknown place. These events left me emotionally drained and distraut. Again I withdrew and would not expose myself again because I knew that it was bound to happen again. As I observed my other friends I saw how they acted with their other friends and I saw a deeper level of connection that they had with each other. part of this was the history they had together from growing up with one another. I wanted that connection but I was held back by two fears one was once I open up to someone I would be taken away from them and be left alone again. my second fear was that if someone really got to know me they would reject me. the fear of being unlovable was tearing me apart. I am still getting to the point where I trust people with my secrets I also don't feel as if anyone is reaching out to me and to get to know me on a deeper level. I am also starting to understand how much god honestly loves me, because even though he knows all the crap that goes on in my life he still loves me for who I am and that will never change. I hope that I will overcome this fear and will be willing to leave myself completely exposed to someone else. Here is where I lay my heart out on the floor do with it what you will.

this is my 2 cents

Thoughts

As I look back on the past couple of weeks in my life I realize why the bible warns of the hardening of hearts. It is so fustrating as I look around and see how my heart has been hardened to what should bother me and what actually does... It is easy for me to point out the faults of others, but my own sins on the other hand it takes God to point it out to my own and that is when I break down. It rips me apart and I don't know how to stop it. It leaves me thinking where do I go from here I have tried to fix it and it doesn't seem to work. Brent said to us today during bible study for things to change your view of them. Tonight my views have changed my heart has been called back to where it was ment to be. Because I remember what it means to breathe yod hey vav hey that with every breathe I say gods name Yahweh. Tonight Brent gave our bible study the challenge to not only be good kids but to grow up in christ. He challenged us to see ourselves no longer as kids but as adults that have grown up in christ and to start that process. I want to begin that process today...

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Its official

Alright so last week was the introduction for the parents, the kids, and the leaders for Tuesday Nights and it went pretty well. This week was better we I was presently surprised about how well the 7th grade guys did with the discussion and the questions that Kyle, Trey, and I got. But the highlight of my week will be tomorrow with Ultimate Frisbee and Bible study tomorrow. I hope it all goes well and we have a good turn out. I haven't done anything all that athletic in a while so we will see how out of shape I am in. Good week so far lets see how the rest of it goes.

This is my 2 cents

Today...

Just wanted to share a couple of things I heard today that really got me thinking. So today I was watching Lie to Me on Fox and they started playing a song by Crowded House here it is

Lyrics to Four Seasons In One Day :
Four seasons in one day
Lying in the depths of your imagination
Worlds above and worlds below
Sun shines on the black clouds hanging over the domain

Even when you're feeling warm
The temperature could drop away
Like four seasons in one day

Smiling as the shit comes down
You can tell a man from what he has to say
Everything gets turned around
And I will risk my neck again, again

You can take me where you will
Up the creek and through the mill
Like all the things you can't explain
Four seasons in one day

Blood dries up like rain, like rain
Fills my cup, like four seasons in one day

Doesn't pay to make predictions
Sleeping on an un-made bed
Finding out wherever there is comfort there is pain
Only one step away, like four seasons in one day

Blood dries up like rain, like rain
Fills my cup, like four seasons in one day
[ Four Seasons In One Day Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

and I started thinking about how fast life goes by and how we shouldn't miss anything or let anything pass us by. I heard a saying that I really like "Pay attention cause you never know what is going to happen."

The second thing I saw was a bumper sticker that said

Dear, God

Why do you allow violence in our schools

Sincerely, Concerned Student

Dear, Concerned Student

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely, God

This made me laugh and also got me thinking why doesn't our school promote talking about religious beliefs? I ask this because I thought the point of school was to learn and to ask questions about what we think and if this is true why should we be prohibited from asking about god or what others believe. Why shouldn't we get in debates about who is right and who is wrong on certain topics. I learned from Mike Messerli that to learn you must first ask a question. But then I said wait a second I remember why we can't do that at school. Because school is no longer about learning through asking questions its about getting barked at. While having things repeated to you over and over again until its so ingrained in your brain you no longer feel like you should ask a question you should just sit and listen...

This is my 2 cents

Oh Man...

Wow it has been a long time since I bothered to do this so here it goes. Well the first week of school is dead and gone and it has been pretty good so far. I am looking forward to Tuesday nights this year its going to be great and I have already learned a lot about leading a bible study. I couldn't believe how many people we had at Brent's house on Wednesday it was insane. I am hoping you will pray for me this year cause I really don't want to fall back into the hole I was in last year with doing everything at the last minute.

This is my 2 cents

Been Thinkin

Just wanted to say that with all that has gone on with me and my friends this year my parents have been willing to listen and have given me some really sound advice and I really just wanted to thank them. For people who think their parents don't know anything they really do, there is a lot of stuff that they have done that they aren't going to tell you so I would give them the benefit of the doubt on a lot of stuff.

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Really... Grow Up!

Alright so I am kinda sick and tired of the way everyone is acting. The drama that is going on at church is being blown way out of proportion. I am sick and tired of the gossip and rumors that are going around. It blows my mind that a bunch of "Church Kids" are Judging people on rumors and lies. I know I am not completely innocent and have done it too but I am tired of it and it needs to stop. If you have a problem with this come talk to me about it.

This is my 2 cents

The Day Ahead

Today is going to be a busy day which is just the way I like it. Church, then lunch with friends, then mission service, then Party at Elli and Blaire's  house. Its gonna be a good today I can't wait. Don't really have much else to talk about other than that my life has been pretty calm over the past couple of days.

This is my 2 cents

Off To A Good Start

Well tonight was fun! I had a great time at alexis's party except for my headache. But so far this summer has been busy and I am happy with the way its going. My weeks have been very busy and thats just the way I like it. I am very thankful that my parents haven't gotten mad at me for all the things I am doing. I love them very much and I can't wait to see how the next 2 months go!

This is my 2 cents

Lacking Sleep and Losing a Friend

Alright so this week has been awesome but I am so exhausted! Tomorrow I am definitely sleeping in as long as I can! I don't think I have gone to sleep at a reasonable hour since I got back from Mississippi. I know thats my fault but I am ready to change that tonight. I can't wait for Alexis's party tomorrow its going to be awesome. But I am going to miss her when she is gone. Alexis and her family are great and I am going to miss them a lot. I hope Alexis gets used to the weather and has plenty of chances to come visit the CBC kids throughout the year.

This is my 2 cents

I am gonna miss you Alexis Rowe

Movies

WARNING!!!! May contain Spoilers

Transformers 2 Rise of the Fallen: The movie was fun because I was with a ton of my friends. Overall it was a decent movie in my opinion. For an action movie where people go to see things blow up there were more funny lines than I expected which for me isn't a bad thing but whatever. There were some awesome fight scenes. The cheesy things in it were taken a little too far, and the soundtrack was a stretch. One major disappointment for me was that Optimums Prime is basically dead until the last 2 scenes.

Year One: I loved this movie it is freakin hilarious. What made it even funnier was knowing so much about the Bible. In the movie Zud and Oh go from Cain and Able to the sacrifice of Isaac, to the Sadam and Gamora. This movie is full of one liners and its awesome. I plan on seeing it again. The way the timeline is all screwed up makes it all the better.

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Busy Busy Busy

This week is going to be very busy for me! and I am so excited. First I have VBS, Then megans house for a fun party, then my parents are getting back from Africa, Danny's birthday party and transformers 2, tuesday nights, wednesday night bible study, then year one, then ultimate frisbee thursday. I will be going all out for 14 days straight and its going to be awesome!

this is my 2 cents

Whats Stopping you

People make excuses like this or that is happening that is keeping them from achieving their goals whether its I am not smart enough, or I don't have the time, its complete BS. I find this sort of reasoning stupid and if you make these excuses you must not really want what you are trying to achieve. I learned that its not the Muslims, the Jews, materialism, the Atheists, the economy, the government, or the agnostics that keep Christians from spreading the word. The real reason is our unwillingness to be a complete sacrifice for our Lord Jesus Christ. Our greatest enemy is not the world but our own human nature and unwillingness to remove ourselves from our comfort zone. I understand the comfort of being with your friends, its like being wrapped in a warm blanket during the middle of a Blizzard the blanket keeps you warm and comfortable and at piece. I am also struggling to move outside my comfort zone. I am praying that the Lord will help me with this, and I ask that you do to.

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Back!!!

Well I am back from the Mississippi trip with CBC and here is how it went.

Sunday

Drove for hours on end from Crossroads to Mississippi. took some pictures made some awesome videos and laughed a lot with friends. Then got situated in the camp and unpacked.

Monday

Woke up at about 6ish and got work crews situated for the week and headed out for our first job.
My group was Alexis, Nicole, Chelsea, Mary, Scott, Pierce, Chris, Nate, Stephen, Brandon, Eric, and me. Our first job was a lot of yard work... we didn't have a lawn mower =*( but we did find a nice truck in the trees =) after we finished we went to a second house and did some more yard work without a lawn mower.

Tuesday

Woke up at about 6ish and things went a little smoother than monday since teams were set up already. First house we went to Alexis, Nicole, and I made a nice stone path for the woman we were working for, while the rest of the team helped her clean out a tattered tent full of rotten food and other junk. While Brandon, Pierce, Stephen and Scott all went up to another house and started putting in insulation. After the team that was with me was done the lady we were working for brought us some popsicles and we sat around and she told us some pretty cool stories (ask in person for more details.) When Scott came back to pick us up we went to another womans house with the intent of doing some work on the door and the trim as well as powerwashing her deck and staining it. Well powerwashing took two days, and we ended up doing some extra work for her like cleaning up her garage and I mowed her lawn.

Wednesday

Woke up at about 6ish and things got started really quickly. We went back to the lady from tuesday and finished powerwashing her deck and we stained the first half. We had a half day and went back to camp at around 12 and then went to the beach for the rest of the day. I got sunburnt really bad =(.

Thursday

Woke up at about 6ish and we went to work about 8. We finished with the womans deck from tuesday and wednesday. We also ended up doing some touch up paint. That got finished at around 3 and Scott took us to Sonic.

Friday

Woot! last day again got to work at about 8. But today we hooked up with Brent and Ian's team and helped take down some trees and brush from a natural park. Also cleaned the outer edge of a pond, which was disgusting btw. Had a nice concert put on by Chris. that boy has some rythm! Got done with that and went back to camp got showers and just sat there until group pictures. Seniors went to dinner with brent and Charlie while the rest of us had brisket. went to the beach afterwor where people shared what they had learned.

Saturday

Packed up and drove home with like 3 stops for gas and food. got back at around 6:40 or so. unpacked and headed home!

Random events

I think over all the pictures that were taken this week we will easlily have over 3,000. Well the boys tent had an AC leak which made the floor all wet which was not fun. The beach was a giant sandbar that went out for about a quarter of a mile =/. We had two Birthdays that week Jared Dahl and Mrs. Carrol Stewart! Shelby gave me a black eye while playing basketball with her, Charlie, and Macy (but I will say we are even because I hit her in the eye first lol). One Group had a small old lady who was more beast that a lot of people I know and shot snakes with a 12 guage shotgun. Julie made a tree fall over by yelling,"Your mother was a toothepick. Sunburns were very common. Chris played "Hey Jude" on a cooler

What I learned

What I learned over the course of the week in Mississippi is that no work is useless and shouldn't be taken for granted, and not to judge a person for what it looks like they have. For example on the first day the yard work we did seemed pretty pointless since the houese was just a frame, brick, and broken windows and nobody lived there. But at least we gave the neighbors something pretty to look at. Also when we first got to the ladies house on tuesday, the one with the deck that needed staining. She had a really nice house for all the other houses we had been to, and all she had us doing besides the deck were some small handyman jobs which I thought her husband could easily have done. Later I found out that her husband had died 5 months after Katrina. I felt horrible that I had felt bitter about doing those small things for her since I thought her husband could do them. I wish I had never had those thoughts and had gone into her house willingly and with a smiling face instead of somewhat bitter with a smiling face.

This is my 2 cents

Mississippi

Well the time has come I will be leaving for Mississippi in just under 8 hours. I can't wait! I am praying that the Lord will do something significant in my life during the next week. The one thing I am not looking forward to is the 9 hour drive ahead of me. Its not that I don't like the people I am riding with but I don't know how much fun it is going to be cramming 12 to 14 people into a van =/. Oh well I can hope for the best.

This is just my 2 cents

Feeling Reflective

This year has had its ups and its downs. I have made some of the best friends I could ever ask for! Cameron and Macy have both been there for me this year.
I will admit that I have struggled this year with keeping my walk with God on the straight and narrow. This is one of the major regrets that I have had this year. I continue to struggle with respecting my parents as well as keeping my mouth in check. What has happened this year I could never predicted.
Then there was Allie. This is another one of my regrets I let myself go unchecked with another girl and I regret every second of it. I had told myself I would never let myself be used in that way for another persons benefit but I guess you can never say never =/.
I had the opportunity to play in a worship band at my church which was an eye opener in many ways
I am going to miss the seniors that have graduated I have learned so much from them. If I could say anything to them it would be that, even though sometimes it feels like nobody is watching you all the underclassmen are watching your every move. well at least I was anyway and it made a huge difference in my life.
If I could say something to the incoming freshmen be yourself, be respectful, don't act like you own everything and deserve to be given anything you want. To the Girls don't act helpless or grossed out by everything its kinda annoying.

This is just my 2 cents