Earning It...

I must admit that I have been disappointed in myself over the past couple of years. My parents have tried to instill the values of hard work and doing everything to the best of my ability throughout my life. For the most part they succeeded and I do tend to work hard on the things I care about. However I want that to extend past the things I care about to everything I do. I want to earn what I am given. The life I have lived thus far is a life of mediocrity and disappointment in my own eyes. I want to go beyond the expected in my life and do what I believe I can do and what I believe is the right thing to do. I want to EARN the time I have on this earth not to please my peers but to please God and myself. But how can I do that without being motivated about what I do with my time. How can I motivate myself to do the things that must be done. I have been getting better, but it goes beyond what I can do for myself. Behavior management doesn't work for me because my inner voice has a tendency to distract me or belittle what I am doing with my time. I can not do this on my own it is not a matter of opinion it is a fact because believe me I have been trying to do it on my own for 3 years. To go beyond where I am now I believe that trusting in God is my only option. I wish I had come to this realization a long time before hand.

this is my 2 cents