Time is passion

This passion so evident at first dies away
Where does it go why does it disappear
How can I go on, where do I go from here
I see nothing but darkness what is happening to me
Life so bleak and distant

I want this feeling back it gives me a sense of relief and escape
From the trials of this life
You gave it to me its always at my fingertips but at times I don't accept it
I push it away and turn my back on you.

God help me!
God help me!
I have nowhere to go
I need you, I need you,

You don't forsake me your arms are open
You make this a life worth living
Your love like a cool refreshing spring.

God help me!
God help me!
I have found you
I need you, I need you

Your love so astounding constantly awe inspiring
An everlasting fire that inspires me
Gives me a passion that I long for
you give me a strength that is indescribable
A comfort impossible to comprehend.

I have always struggled with keeping a focus on God, whether it is reading my bible or praying consistently or I just make a series of bad choices. I have noticed like most people that after I come home from a camp or a particular lesson that has inspired me I will pick up these habits again. But over time they will die out because I will stay up too late and get too tired to stay awake and read or do a devotion fearing that I will fall asleep anyways while I am in the middle of praying. Why does a passion for god drift away why do I need to be reminded of his glory. I can see his glory everywhere and I will just pass it by as if everything is normal. WHY! who am I to act like I deserve this cause I don't, and I when I reflect on my actions I beat myself up for falling short of standards that I feel aren't really that hard to keep. But that's where I fall short, I turn these things like reading the bible and praying into standards that I should keep not because its good for me or brings me closer to God but because that's what makes me a "true christian". I don't understand why my mind goes to that thought process because I know and have been taught for years that we read the bible not because it is good for us or so we can share it but because it is God speaking to us.. The God who created every single thing on the earth, sky, oceans, and heavens, the man that can calm the seas with his voice, with the ability to raise the dead without even touching them, a sinless man that died for my sins and gave me the ability to share this gift with others. How can I sit back and take this thing passively. But there is always hope I can turn my views around and I can grow in my relationship with god for he does not forsake me but stands there with open arms waiting for me to come back home! Please leave a comment, and please pray for me.

This is my 2 cents